Pressure to Conform and the Obsession with the Superficial
I had a most interesting conversation this week with a group of senior students about the pressures we all feel to conform to particular social conventions, and I was making the point as delicately as I could that if we blindly follow the herd without pausing for reflection, then we can never be free. Society encourages us to conform in all kinds of ways in order to control us and maintain order. Schools indulge in a little of this too! Most of the time there are very good reasons for such behaviour. If we were not actively discouraged from stealing, for example, it would be that much harder to safeguard our property. Yet double standards often seem to operate in society, and young people in particular hate hypocrisy. Millionaires, who steal the life savings from people without the resources to defend themselves in court, have a habit of getting away with it. Similarly, as a society we are told that to take a life is a heinous crime, yet doctors will occasionally intervene at the very beginning or the very end of a life to preserve what they believe to be the greater good – the rights of the individual. We value honesty as a society, yet those who hold power sometimes have a way of twisting the truth until it is barely recognisable. It can get very confusing.
It is possible to use our perception of the injustice that exists in society as an excuse for irresponsible behaviour, but eventually, hopefully, we grow up and start taking responsibility for our actions and their consequences. Equally we can often be seduced into letting others determine what is best for us rather than thinking for ourselves. The somewhat narrow, prescriptive and misleading ideal of feminine beauty is a chilling example of this. The very notion that such an ideal exists can be immensely damaging, especially when it is based on essentially shallow characteristics such as physical attributes. Behind all the glamour of the influencers, who incidentally have been around for years, are sheltering millions of women who have been made to feel uncomfortable about their bodies, and therefore about themselves. The beauty myth is encroaching on male territory too. The same executives who dream up new potions designed to convince the girl next door that she can look like Kate Moss by simply rubbing this cream on herself three times a day, are now producing eye creams, hair tonics and moisturisers for men. Believe me, they don’t work!
This obsession with the superficial can be very damaging to our relationships, encouraging us to invest our desires in ephemeral and unimportant things, and undermining the importance of those things that really matter – honesty, humour, friendship, faithfulness, kindness and of course love. It is worth reminding ourselves that God loves us just as we are, warts and all. He sees into our hearts and sees all the good that resides there. He sees our potential and our capacity to bring healing and benevolence into our broken world. He sees us as we are, and as we are becoming. In a world dominated by fleeting trends and fashions, it is reassuring to contemplate those everlasting truths that ultimately shape and define our lives.
Patrick S Wallas
Headmaster
